Rides, Rallies and Events Recap

Johnny Dare's Bike Night

Written by  September 30, 2004

My editor and I decided to crash Johnny Dare’s first bike night on Tuesday, September 14, as it was way past time for us to check out this new Westport hot spot. So we packed up the fatty’s with our cameras and notepads and headed out to midtown. I can sum up Johnny Dare’s (JD’s) in one sentence; “This place kicks ass!”

Well, it’s a far cry from what I would call a traditional biker bar, after all it is in what I call Rub-port, but this is one ass kickin’ joint that was needed a long time ago. Plasma TVs with non-stop rock 'n metal videos cranked to the hilt bashing your brains out and hot girls serving drinks in nasty little schoolgirl outfits intended to make me, and every other guy in the place, horny. Ah, it reminds me of the Frank Zappa song “Catholic Girls.” Man, I love this place!

Some RUB’s like to sit in the window and gawk at all the bikes, and that’s cool. It’s just amazing to see the different working and non-working classes all partying at the same spot. World peace is doubtful, but with a common denominator of hot chicks, great food and drinks (without the Westport price tag) and loud melt-your-melon rock 'n roll, this is biker heaven! JD’s already has a bunch of regulars like CPJ, a frequent guest on Johnny Dare’s Morning Show on 98.9 The Rock, who I think sleeps under the bar after closing; Steve-O who helped as the Concept Director and now refuses to leave (can’t say as I blame him), and is now the official greeter. There are also other familiar faces like local bikers Lil’ Bill and Derryl and his other brother Derryl, plus a cast of other characters I’m sure you’ll recognize once you ride in. Oh yeah, I also want to say that if you’re looking for 'Jennifer,’ you’d better be specific; there are five Jennifers at JD’s and all are awesome in more ways than one. Especially watch out for Jennifer Beckerman, the General Manager, and Jennifer Brown, the Bar Manager. They are both hot as well as smart, and the reason why this place rocks so hard.

Now, let’s look at some specifics. JD’s features 60 feet of bike only parking right in front of the bar, every day of the week. I don’t think anywhere else in Kansas City can boast that. A complete 50’s style aluminum trailer was cutup and rebuilt upstairs, complete with Porta-Potty doors on the bathroom entrances, which they dubbed 'Whiskey Tango.’ It is sure to make your trailer park trash feel right at home. I won’t go into detail about all the bitchin’ rock 'n roll memorabilia, velvet Elvis pictures and the Fat Boy behind the bar; just check out the pictures below and judge for yourself. So far, I would have to say the only thing JD’s lacks is a burnout pit and a bonfire, but I’m sure they’re working on it. Also, check their web site calendar for special events.

You guys know I always write about the food at whatever bike night I’m covering and JD’s is no exception. Johnny has teamed up with Fat Charlies for some great BBQ to munch while you’re powering down your favorite adult-type beverage. With all the booze you’ll be consuming, you need some food to grind to keep you from losing your lunch. I love Kansas City BBQ and Fat Charlies will not disappoint.

OK, now I need to put on the 'Dad’ hat. You guys need to be careful as KC’s finest watch this place very closely, like most cool establishments we frequent, especially if everyone’s having too much fun. After all, since they have to work while we are burning down the house, they are naturally jealous and pissed-off. So, let’s all watch our beverage consumption and keep the rubber side down. You know what I mean kids. Burnouts are cool but if La Policia ever decides to crack down, we’re going to lose a great party spot. Savvy?

JD’s is open seven days a week from 11 a.m. to 3 a.m. for your brain damaging pleasure. Every Tuesday night, until it’s colder than a witch’s tit, there will be bike nights at JD’s. And on those nights, they will have a bike contest judged by the patrons for your chance to win some cool JD propaganda. If it’s to cold for you (pussy) or if you’re a non-rider, they will still have prizes for you. Drum roll please ... the opening bike night winner was Derryl Belnap’s 2001 Harley-Davidson Custom Deuce. Most of the fabrication was done by Hellraiser Choppers, which included a 200 tire conversion, a 6-speed Rev Tech transmission, Midwest Ultra Mag Wheels, a Rivera Carburetor and Arlen Ness Pipes. Paint was by Tommy “TOO MUCH” Martin and the 95” engine was built by Mike Wilson at Gail’s Harley-Davidson. Can you say sweet? I was asked to be one of the judges, and it was a no brainer once I saw this beauty. Below is a picture of it and Derryl being showered with luv in the barber’s chair from JD’s killer 'Catholic Girl’ staff.

There is so much more to tell, but that’s all I have time for now. Keep checking back, as I will be adding more pictures every couple of weeks as my Johnny Dare adventures continue.

P.S. After you roll into the garage you might also want to flip on your porn box, a.k.a. your computer and visit Johnny’s other site as well as his employers’ at 98.9 The Rock to keep up with JD’s crazy adventures.

Review by Wayne Thompson

Photos by Wayne Thompson, Mike Schweder, and Stripe.

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