Rides, Rallies and Events Recap

Oklahoma Bike Week 2014 - Sparks, Oklahoma

Written by  July 30, 2014

Oklahoma Bike Week at Sparks America Campground ran from June 19 through 29. Doc Lonnie Blum and I decided to make the trip from Missouri to Sparks on Thursday, June 26. After checking in and setting up camp, we headed for the “playground” area that is the center of many of the rally’s activities. A couple of major changes were immediately apparent. The sound system is now controlled from a tower in front of the stage instead of from a cubbyhole at the side. The stage has been rebuilt and is now two stages in one, separated by a wall in the center. That facilitates having the equipment for the musical entertainment separated from other on-stage activities.

Each night during the rally had a different theme. The agenda included: Friday-toga party, Saturday-Caveman, Sunday-Karaoke, Monday-Pimp and Ho, Tuesday-Topless Tuesday, Wednesday-Aloha Night, Thursday-60’s (flower power and hippies), Friday-Detention for Your Attention School Girl Night, and Saturday-Leather and Lace. Hippies and flower children were out in force Thursday evening, with long hair, sandals, beads, and tie-dyed clothing back in style. For some, the transition from normal to hippie was not a major change. It was fun, and brought back some vague memories of the late 60’s and early 70’s.

Friday morning began with a solemn event. Cheryl “Red” Chamber, a regular at Sparks rallies, had passed, and her last wishes indicated her desire that her ashes be scattered at the campground. Robert Butler, the owner of the campground and host of the rally, volunteered his three-wheeler for the occasion, and Cheryl’s long-time companion, Pot Holder, was aboard as Robert led a procession of motorcycles, quads, and golf carts as the ashes were scattered. Afterward there was a short and moving memorial service at the edge of the pond. Rest in peace, sister.

A new contest was introduced at this year’s event. A series of games contested over several days of the rally would determine Oklahoma’s ultimate biker couple. To participate in the contest, couples were required to have a 10-day paid admission. The top prize was $1,000 cash. There were two games each day Monday through Thursday and a special final event on Friday with the top two couples qualifying. Preliminary games included dirty laundry, pig tail race, slow cone race, tire roll, basketball toss, horse shoe toss, suck the bottle, and ring around the rosie. The final event came down to Horndog and Honey versus Richard and Tammy a.k.a. Blackhawk. The details were kept secret until the contest began Friday morning. The two couples rode from the playground to the far corner of the campground not knowing what the challenge would be. Waiting for them were the official judges Robert and Slow Roll Joe. Each couple was presented with camping supplies including tent, sleeping bags, ice chest, coffee pot, chairs, spare tire, bag of potatoes, eggs, a gallon of water, charcoal, lighter fluid, and cooking utensils. Their task was to haul everything back to the playground, set up camp, and get the eggs and potatoes cooking and water percolating. The first couple to complete all of the tasks to the satisfaction of the judges won the $1,000, all of the camping supplies, and the title of Oklahoma’s Ultimate Bikers. The second place couple also won all of their camping equipment. In a close contest, Horndog and Honey came out on top.

Following the completion of the challenge event, everyone enjoyed a series of bike games and people games including plank ride, drunk ride, straw-in-bottle, potato race (using tennis balls instead of spuds), dizzy race, tampon race, blind man’s ride, newlywed game, panty pull, balloon toss, quick start, buff the woody, twinkie eating, pickle licking, titty licking, and sex positions (clothed on an air mattress). The final event of the afternoon was a crowd favorite, the slide. The long plastic sheet used for the slide had been relocated from the playground to the area next to the pond, so it was ready to go as soon as the other games concluded. After being oiled down, several ladies took turns diving onto the wet plastic with a running start to see who could slide the farthest.

After a break, Friday evening’s festivities began with live music. During one of the band’s breaks, several young ladies dressed in school girl attire with a sexy flair were placed in on-stage detention supervised by Lori who, along with Dirty Dave, handled most of the public address duties during Bike Week. The crowd chose by their applause which of the unruly “students” was sexiest. If classrooms in my past were equipped with stripper poles as this one was, I probably would have enjoyed school a lot more. It would surely have been a different kind of educational experience.

Lots of cool rides were on display during the Saturday morning bike show. The Best of Show award went to Todd Ray from Ada for his 2012 Honda Fury. Next came more bike games and people games including slow ride (one-up and two-up), keg toss (men’s and women’s), keg roll, balloon toss, wienie bite, and cherry bite. Following a brief rain delay, the event relocated to the nearby dirt drag strip for 100-foot drags and tire drags. As the crowd returned to the playground, a wedding was concluding on the stage involving members of the Redneck Riders M/C. A large contingency of club members was on hand to celebrate the union of the happy couple. We wish them the best.

There was one more game on the schedule. An air mattress and a window frame were set up for “Honey, I’m Home!” For those not familiar, the idea is to simulate a situation where a husband unexpectedly arrives at home, and discovers his wife in bed with an interloper who must escape the situation by tossing the woman aside, pulling his boots on, exiting through the window, and fleeing on his motorcycle. I’ve seen this game on many occasions, but I’ve never found it more entertaining. In most cases, someone shouts, “Honey, I’m home!” and it’s on. For this contest, Robert took the role of the husband to another level, getting in the faces of the men and delivering a blistering tongue lashing to each. Robert cleverly improvised his diatribes to fit different situations including one case where the contestant was a female (“After all these years, I didn’t know you were like that!). In another case, there was a couple “in bed with the wife” prompting Robert to practically throw the contestant through the window and then join the two women on the mattress. It was absolutely hilarious!

Also during the afternoon, awards were presented for the longest beard and the best tattoos. A talented airbrush artist named Keith was kept busy doing body paint that would be on display during an evening contest. As always, there was an auction of chainsaw artworks sculpted by Woody.

After a break, the evening events commenced including live music, the leather and lace contest (including Dirty Dave dressed...or undressed) for the Chippendales Male Review, and the modeling of Keith’s outstanding body art. Regina’s full body leopard paint was chosen by the audience as the favorite.

As always, Oklahoma Bike Week was a blast and well worth the trip. We’ll be looking forward to returning to Sparks America for the biker Halloween party.

Photos by Stripe and Doc Lonnie Blum

Newlywed photo used with consent of Redneck Riders M/C  

 

Stripe

Photojournalist/Account Representative - Kansas City, MO

Dave Baxter, a.k.a. Stripe joined our staff in December, 2003, as a photojournalist. If that road name sounds familiar, you may have seen his photos on the pages of such publications as American Iron, V Twin, VQ, In the Wind, and Easyriders. Stripe attends as many rallies, bike shows, and charity runs as he can and is a major contributor of photos and articles to our magazine. His first assignment was our January, 2004, cover photo, where he snapped the awesome photo of a 1958 Harley-Davidson Duo Glide. A rider since the age of 14, he loves to help and encourage new riders. Stripe enjoys meeting new people and looks forward to catching many of our readers in the viewfinder of his digital camera. Contact Stripe at stripe@cycleconnections.com 

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