Writer's Ramblings

Curing the Winter Blues

Written by  January 31, 2010

Man, it's winter in Missouri, and it is the pits. The past few winters in the Kansas City Metro have been mild enough to ride all winter long, but this one has turned out to be less than favorable so far. Looks like Mother is going to mellow a tad for a bit and maybe we can get the scooters out of the garage.

But until then, what do we do about it? After scouring the planet (OK, my garage, to be totally honest) and combined with thousands of hours of diligent research (all right, a couple of hours in a few cycle-related forums I peruse from time to time), I, with the help of our peers, have come up with the perfect solution for those soul-dampening winter months.

The first thing we're going to want to do is put the bike up on the lift so you can sit on it upright like you’re riding. (If you don’t have a lift, just set a 2 x 4 under the jiffy stand) Then you get one of those Wally World special floor fans and set it on the ground in front of the bike. Get out a couple CDs of some good old southern rock and roll and get prepared to spend a couple hours in the saddle.

We’ve assembled most, but not all of the needed items for our cold weather-beating, soul-regenerating illusion. Here is what we do: I know you see this coming, but bear with me man, I’m diggin this bit… Fire up the rock and roll or head fixin’ tune--age of your choice-- turn on the fan and jump on the scoot and away we go!

Is this not cool or what? You have the wind in your hair, you’re grooving to some tunes and once again, everything is groovy. Throw your feet up on the highway pegs, give a little left and right action to the handlebars every once in a while, and we can eat a couple hundred miles no sweat. To add to the illusion, have one of the kids throw some old bugs through the fan… you can find an ample supply behind the washer and dryer. At least I did. The occasional almond shot through said fan really does wonders at simulating that occasional June bug off the forehead at speed also. I recommend wearing goggles if you’re attempting this re-creation.

By Eric “Phedup' Rossiter

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