The older I get, the worse the ADD gets. I was almost finished with this month’s column when I got sidetracked looking up motorcycle slang. I am usually not one to toss about slang words, so a lot of what I found I thought to be a bit absurd. Also, slang tends to be regional in non-biker circles; biker slang is more universal, but I am sure there are some words and phrases that are regional.
While perusing these sites that had slang definitions, a few caught my eye. They are below, along with my smartass comments.
Back Warmer - A girl on the back of your motorcycle (I guess that would be true for those that seem to hang on for dear life. I prefer to sit back and relax).
Fender Bunny - Nice babe on the back of a bike (What is a female that is not a nice babe? “Fender dog?”).
Fender Fluff - Nice lookin' babe on the back (Oh, I see. A Bunny is just nice. Fluff is nice LOOKING).
Mama - A woman who is available to all biker gang members (There are some southern boys who might take offense to this one).
Fresh Meat - New young girlfriend (I contend this can also refer to a new young boyfriend and then get into the male-domination of these terms, but I won’t),
Mattress Cover or Ground Cover - Young woman (I’m old. That makes me a “Mattress Pad or a Weed, I reckon).
Old Lady - Wife or steady girlfriend of a club member (Which reminds me, when does this season of Sons of Anarchy start?).
Puppies - Female breasts (Does this have to be in a biker’s dictionary? My mom used this term, fergoodnesssakes, and she hated motorcycles)!
Purple Hooters - Topless female rider in cold weather (Does this happen often enough that there’s slang for it? I had no idea!).
I’m sure there are more derogatory terms for those of us who have the ability or at least the equipment designed to bear children, but it’s late, this column is due, and I like my blood pressure right where it is. I contend that we as individuals have every right to call ourselves whatever we want, but when others repeat it back, it becomes insulting. On the other hand, it would be a nice boost to the old ego to hear in passing “Check out the Fender Fluff” as we cruise on by.
By Louise Reeves