Road Trippin' to Oklahoma Bike Week at Sparks America

There may have been some concern among bikers about the change of ownership at SparksAmerica. After a Friday morning conversation with Robert Butler, the new owner, I am convinced that every effort is being made to keep Sparks’ parties among Oklahoma’s most popular biker events. A couple of noticeable enhancements for this year’s rally were new shower facilities and a large gazebo in the vendor area. Another new addition was SparksAmerica’s Magic Bus. This unique vehicle is a retired school bus with all of the glass removed from the windows. A bar was added in the back, complete with a waitress who was topless most of the time. The bus constantly circulated through the campground with partiers free to board (as long as there was room) and disembark as they pleased. For some, the bus was a means of transportation around the campground. For others, it was a mobile place to party and enjoy the company of other passengers. The waitress was armed with a large water cannon and delighted in drenching passengers and pedestrians when they least expected it. Considering the hot, dry weather conditions, a dousing came as a bit of welcome relief. Another option for cooling off was to take a dip in the pond. Swimsuits were optional, and skinny-dipping was a popular activity throughout the week.

Afternoon activities during Oklahoma Bike Week always feature a wide variety of games including bike rodeo events and “people games” that don’t involve motorcycles, and there are nice plaques for the winners. Slow rides (solo and two-up), keg roll, blind man’s ride, straw-in-bottle, potato race, wienie bite, cherry bite, balloon toss, plank ride, keyhole race, barrel race, quick-start race (involving finding and starting your bike while blindfolded), and tire drags were a few of the contests. A skilled field of riders made the events very entertaining for the spectators, many of whom watched from the relative comfort of the shady area on the north side of the “playground.” Those who didn’t have motorcycles or chose not to risk overheating them also had a good selection of games in which to participate. Keg tosses for men (using full-size kegs) and women (with pony kegs) tested the strength of competitors. There was a pedestrian balloon toss game. An air mattress was placed on the stage so couples could demonstrate their repertoire of sex positions (while clothed) changing to as many as possible within the time limit. Twinkie eating (from between partner’s legs), pickle licking, titty licking, and newlywed game (involving a blindfold, plumber’s helper, and toilet paper roll) were fun for participants and spectators. Frozen T-shirt and frozen thong games were presented challenges in spite of the hot conditions. Following Saturday’s tire drags, it was time for Oklahoma Bike Week’s signature event, the titty slide. A long roll of heavy plastic was laid out in the center of the playground area. Padding was placed under the plastic at the takeoff end, the slide was watered down to reduce friction, and the participating ladies were covered in baby oil to even further diminish the coefficient of friction. The remaining option available to the ladies to maximize sliding distance (thus enhancing winning potential) was the removal of clothing. Preparations completed, the contestants took turns running, diving, and sliding. No new distance records were set, probably due to lack of sliding experience among this group of participants, but the crowd of spectators didn’t seem to mind.

Saturday’s bike show featured some nice rides in every class and raised money for the “Motoring for Marfan’s” charity. After the show, class winners posted for individual and group photos, and the trike class winner celebrated with a few victory wheelies, presenting another great photo op.

Numerous vendors, some returning and some new, were open all day and late in the evening providing a wide variety of merchandise and food. Raffles held during the rally raised money for various charities and collected funds to be used to provide underwear and socks for troops deployed abroad. Wet T-shirt contests and competitions for best body paint, longest hair, longest beard, etc., were held. Great live music was featured during the evenings and included the first concert appearance in Oklahoma by the talented and sexy Chasi Lynn.

Sunday’s ride home was a hot one and required extra stops for water and cooling off. It was a good ride and a fun event, and we will be looking forward to future visits to Oklahoma.

Oklahoma’s wildest biker Halloween party will draw bikers back to SparksAmerica in October. Mud racing and other non-motorcycle events are hosted by the campground as well. More info and a complete schedule of events can be found on the SparksAmerica website .

Article by Stripe
Photos by Doc Lonnie Blum with Explorer Photography and Stripe.